Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Peer edits
Luke Harwell
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes (to add a turning lane on 140th)
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
yes
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
yes
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
yes (relates to my life)
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
yes (chronically)
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
yes
7. Is the writing clear?
yes it all flows nicely
Alec Johnson drew a picture so i am writing on his rough draft what to add
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes (to add a turning lane on 140th)
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
yes
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
yes
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
yes (relates to my life)
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
yes (chronically)
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
yes
7. Is the writing clear?
yes it all flows nicely
Alec Johnson drew a picture so i am writing on his rough draft what to add
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Editorials
1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
lunch room prices soaring
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
they need to make it affordable for all kids, not all families have a high income
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
for the school to look and see that some kids cant afford lunches today
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
-Connect it to the audience
-describe to them what the future prices could be
-use comparsions
-use past school prices
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
by showing them enough significance to why i decided to write an editorial about this.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
It can connect to the public of all ages especially for those that are just entering school
lunch room prices soaring
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
they need to make it affordable for all kids, not all families have a high income
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
for the school to look and see that some kids cant afford lunches today
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
-Connect it to the audience
-describe to them what the future prices could be
-use comparsions
-use past school prices
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
by showing them enough significance to why i decided to write an editorial about this.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
It can connect to the public of all ages especially for those that are just entering school
Monday, March 15, 2010
Final Draftt
As graduation approaches for many high school seniors planning for graduation is one of the most discussed topics amongst the hall ways. For many seniors, graduation means done with high school, others it’s an end of a chapter in life as a new one begins. As for myself, it’s just a reminder to myself something that was once and everyday occurrence would soon come to an end.
As senior year began, the anticipation of finally graduating is coming into view. Seniors begin to apply for colleges, our last homecoming week comes and passes, and before you can blink its second quarter.
For my good friends and I, this was when our final year of varsity hockey was set to begin. As the tryouts began, it was a given who was going to be on the team this year and who was not. The season started off with a golf outing with all the team members. It was an event focused on team building and to have everyone get comfortable around with one another. This season was going to be different our team decided, our team motto was “shocking the lake” and that’s what we planned on. In the off season we got most of returning players together and would train and go on runs together as a team. That was the difference we wanted to make for the coming year was that our team was going to be a family.
Unlike last year, our team was not traveling up north to play five scrimmages prior to the season. This season our schedule had us playing our home rival Apple Valley a weekend earlier then when most teams in the state played their first games. Coming into the game we had two of our top players sitting out due to personal issues, but our team was looking forward to starting the year off against the Eagles. We came out in our fresh new white, blue, and black jersey’s roaring to go. Fighting hard through the game we were miraculously tied with the eagles who were pre ranked in the top twenty of the state. With eleven seconds left in the game they put one past our net minder to put us away. Coming out of the game we took out that we were capable of playing with any team after playing a hard game. Later did we find out this game would sum up the conclusion of our season.
As we took more and more strides closer towards our Christmas tournament we couldn’t get anything to go our ways. “It was the most frustrating part of the season” said goaltender Ryan O’shea. We were not only losing our games, but we were getting killed by our opponents. This was not the way we wanted to end our senior year. The Christmas tournament was finally here. Our team traveled 70 miles south to farm town Minnesota, Rochester. There were eight teams in the tournament. We were placed in the top of the bracket and forced to play one of the home teams of Rochester, Rochester Mayo Spartans. This is the time when our team put everything together and got the bounces we deserved. After embarrassing the Spartans ten to one, we were paired to play the second of three Rochester teams from John Marshall high school. This team was not as bad as we thought they were going to be, they came to play and outplayed our team in the final minutes to get the three to one victory. Going back to the hotel after losing that game knowing that our goal of winning the tournament were now out of reach was painful. Instead of sleeping in and playing in the championship game at one, we got shafted and played in the game at nine in the morning. We were matched against the third and final Rochester team from Century high school, this team made it to state the previous year and had a group of highly talented players. Although in the end of the game we didn’t come out on top, we fought to the end and made the game interesting. We came into the third period down by three and played that period like it was our last period of hockey. We made it interesting by scoring three goals, but the panthers of century high school scored one to put it away to come away with the third place trophy. Leaving the tournament our team knew that we played our hearts out this tournament, and that everything that we were working on in practice was finally coming together and we were able to put a couple of complete games together as a team.
The next month our team was scheduled to play against some tough competition. Six of the ten teams were ranked in the top twenty of the state of hockey. Playing in the hardest conference in the state did not help our season to be what we planned on it to be like. Fast forwarding to our section game our season stayed at the same pace that our season began with. Losing to teams one after another, the end of the season was now in sight. Like the Eastview football team we were paired to play the raiders from Cretin. Instead we were playing them in sections, not in state. We came out to play and played the best first two periods our team has played all year and stunned the crowd in St. Paul. If only we could have played like that for the third period. The season was over. Everything we had trained for that summer was now useless. Growing up playing in the association dreaming of playing varsity hockey was now finally here and now gone with a blink of the eye. Sadness, depression, and lost were the words that senior Tony Companion used to sum up the feeling of never being able to play organized hockey ever again. “Playing with my buddies that I have played with my whole life is what I will miss the most” said tony when asked what he would miss the most about organized hockey.
For all the seniors that have no future plans of playing hockey in college will have nothing to do in the winter. My hockey career was now over, and now each winter I will have to look forward to playing outdoor hockey with my buddies. So as Graduation rolls around it is just a reminder to myself that one of the things I loved most was now over. As this door closes, another one opens and that is to continue my journey to college in the fall of 2010.
As senior year began, the anticipation of finally graduating is coming into view. Seniors begin to apply for colleges, our last homecoming week comes and passes, and before you can blink its second quarter.
For my good friends and I, this was when our final year of varsity hockey was set to begin. As the tryouts began, it was a given who was going to be on the team this year and who was not. The season started off with a golf outing with all the team members. It was an event focused on team building and to have everyone get comfortable around with one another. This season was going to be different our team decided, our team motto was “shocking the lake” and that’s what we planned on. In the off season we got most of returning players together and would train and go on runs together as a team. That was the difference we wanted to make for the coming year was that our team was going to be a family.
Unlike last year, our team was not traveling up north to play five scrimmages prior to the season. This season our schedule had us playing our home rival Apple Valley a weekend earlier then when most teams in the state played their first games. Coming into the game we had two of our top players sitting out due to personal issues, but our team was looking forward to starting the year off against the Eagles. We came out in our fresh new white, blue, and black jersey’s roaring to go. Fighting hard through the game we were miraculously tied with the eagles who were pre ranked in the top twenty of the state. With eleven seconds left in the game they put one past our net minder to put us away. Coming out of the game we took out that we were capable of playing with any team after playing a hard game. Later did we find out this game would sum up the conclusion of our season.
As we took more and more strides closer towards our Christmas tournament we couldn’t get anything to go our ways. “It was the most frustrating part of the season” said goaltender Ryan O’shea. We were not only losing our games, but we were getting killed by our opponents. This was not the way we wanted to end our senior year. The Christmas tournament was finally here. Our team traveled 70 miles south to farm town Minnesota, Rochester. There were eight teams in the tournament. We were placed in the top of the bracket and forced to play one of the home teams of Rochester, Rochester Mayo Spartans. This is the time when our team put everything together and got the bounces we deserved. After embarrassing the Spartans ten to one, we were paired to play the second of three Rochester teams from John Marshall high school. This team was not as bad as we thought they were going to be, they came to play and outplayed our team in the final minutes to get the three to one victory. Going back to the hotel after losing that game knowing that our goal of winning the tournament were now out of reach was painful. Instead of sleeping in and playing in the championship game at one, we got shafted and played in the game at nine in the morning. We were matched against the third and final Rochester team from Century high school, this team made it to state the previous year and had a group of highly talented players. Although in the end of the game we didn’t come out on top, we fought to the end and made the game interesting. We came into the third period down by three and played that period like it was our last period of hockey. We made it interesting by scoring three goals, but the panthers of century high school scored one to put it away to come away with the third place trophy. Leaving the tournament our team knew that we played our hearts out this tournament, and that everything that we were working on in practice was finally coming together and we were able to put a couple of complete games together as a team.
The next month our team was scheduled to play against some tough competition. Six of the ten teams were ranked in the top twenty of the state of hockey. Playing in the hardest conference in the state did not help our season to be what we planned on it to be like. Fast forwarding to our section game our season stayed at the same pace that our season began with. Losing to teams one after another, the end of the season was now in sight. Like the Eastview football team we were paired to play the raiders from Cretin. Instead we were playing them in sections, not in state. We came out to play and played the best first two periods our team has played all year and stunned the crowd in St. Paul. If only we could have played like that for the third period. The season was over. Everything we had trained for that summer was now useless. Growing up playing in the association dreaming of playing varsity hockey was now finally here and now gone with a blink of the eye. Sadness, depression, and lost were the words that senior Tony Companion used to sum up the feeling of never being able to play organized hockey ever again. “Playing with my buddies that I have played with my whole life is what I will miss the most” said tony when asked what he would miss the most about organized hockey.
For all the seniors that have no future plans of playing hockey in college will have nothing to do in the winter. My hockey career was now over, and now each winter I will have to look forward to playing outdoor hockey with my buddies. So as Graduation rolls around it is just a reminder to myself that one of the things I loved most was now over. As this door closes, another one opens and that is to continue my journey to college in the fall of 2010.
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